There are many reasons why marriages end in divorce. Many couples feel that their partner has changed, become insensitive to their needs or is just intolerable to be around any longer. Of the numerous explanations given for why a marriage fails, here are the top 5 reasons marriages end in divorce.
Statistics vary but around 25% of men and 17% of women engage in at least one extramarital affair incident during their marriage. Some studies suggest this figure is higher, especially for women.
When a spouse discovers the infidelity, reactions vary from disgust, sadness and anger to obvious feelings of betrayal. For a good number of betrayed spouses, there can be no chance of reconciliation and a divorce is filed or requested. For others though, this is a time for refocusing efforts on making the marriage work and exploring the underlying reasons for the indiscretion. There is never a good reason for cheating on your spouse and the cheating spouse needs to accept this. Couples counselors commonly deal with infidelity in a marriage and if the parties are willing to commit to staying together, they may be able to work through this difficult period. Studies do indicate that couples who stick it out usually have a happier marriage.
The problem of not having enough money or living beyond your means is a major reason why couples divorce. When you marry, you should have a good idea of your partner’s financial status and income and what you can expect. Problems arise when a spouse starts gambling, loses a job, makes a bad investment or a major medical or other event leads to severe financial distress. Financial affairs are always cited as one of the major issues of contention in a marriage and can easily lead to a breakdown.
If you are facing financial problems and it is affecting your marriage, seeking financial counseling is a good first step. You both may have to budget expenses, sacrifice certain extravagances and commit to living frugally for a while until better times arrive.
3. Lack of Communication
For any relationship to work and to be sustainable, there must be communication between the parties. Communication is more than just idle talk but a genuine interest in the other partner’s affairs, work and daily activities. If you do not like talking to your spouse or find you are not interested in your partner’s interests, this is likely to be a major obstacle in continuing the relationship. If you make an effort in getting to know more about your spouse, are honest, and find time to “date” each other at least once per week, you may find that you have more in common than you think. Another suggestion is to find a common interest or hobby, like golf, tennis, wine tasting or bike riding.
4. Spousal control
It can become stifling when a spouse assumes control over the partner’s life, dictating what clothes to wear, whom to see, finances and what activities to engage in. In some cases, verbal or physical abuse or violence is used. Emotional abuse is often used to control the partner and the abused party often changes their behavior to avoid the abuse and keep the partner happy.
Becoming isolated from friends and family, constantly questioning your appearance or weight, and allowing the abusive spouse to make all major decisions without your input is no way to continue a relationship. Unless the abusive spouse recognizes his or her toxic behavior, it is best to end the relationship.
Addiction can be alcohol, drugs or gambling. Addicts need professional help since you cannot fix the problem alone no matter how many times your spouse agrees to stop. Addicts have to understand that unless they seek counseling or enter a rehab program, they will lose you as a partner since you and your children, if any, are suffering.
If you are experiencing any of these top 5 reasons for divorcing, seek professional help for both you and your partner. Remaining committed to a marriage and working through the reasons why your marriage is failing can often save it. In the end, it may be up to you to consider if your marriage is worth saving.
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